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Penniesim that kid that you see as naive
you don't need me
but you want me to be
there for you if you want to
and what do i get
and you don't even sweat
on the big things the stories
i'm raging and roaring
you're whoring yourself out again
and its boring
i'm boring a hole to the life you uphold
got a role
so i'll play it but this game i'm saying
i don't need your silence
one more reason i'm writing
show me a feeling
or i'm right
not gonna roll
its a no go
i got a feeling you'll give up
not gonna get with this get up
show me you're reeling
you're not though
gimme a story
or show me.
i'm that girl that you found intriguing
truth is i don't think you can perceive me
not even sure that you even see me
but one of us lies and its easy
get up and get go
i got no pull here to stay
so i let go
rush me i'm pushing away
but i'm back though
i don't even know
soul to soul or im solely alone
YoursI'm okay for now and I'm standing tall
but in a second I'm backed up against the wall
in my head my back arches
but my head just falls
and my shoulders drop
and my thoughts hit the floor/
you glance across the room and my mouth creases up
in a way it gives away and you give me that look
the smile slips down and I'm on one foot
my fingernails click, I say I'm okay, but/
You know it's not true, you can see right through me
peel back a smile and my eyes look roomy
it's not quite a lie, but it's not quite true
we'll drop it for tonight and I'll call another truce/
I'm tired of the way you think I'm being obtuse
and the only thing I've got is 'it's me, it's not you'
in actuality it's everything I've ever been through
the reality's duality and one of me'll lose/
so call it off for a second and i'm feeling like water
slipped through your hands but i'm inside your pores
stuck to your skin and I'm feeling remorse
I can't save you from me more than I can be more/
than I am, than I should be
TeethSing me out a story
I don't need a reason just to rhyme
I got my paper A$ lined
that shit you're selling, I'm not buyin.
the only thing that's left of me
chew me up and spit me out
but either way I'll break your teeth-
RamblesBut then I think
this pen and ink
wants to write the
ins and outs of my mind
and then i find
the final line
why is it then
that I'm not fine?
I write about
falling and how
it's different for me than you
but the truth
it's not a hard line
and all in all
my life's quite fine
it isn't perfect,
but then I suspect,
a million people have it worse than I.
Every night I do it.
I chew on thoughts and bury words
squashing sentences at the bottom of the bright ideas pile
the light switch is on but every bulb's blown
I repeat and repeat and repeat
scrap replay, replay rethink, remember
it changes and I forget
and then it's never what it was so
the words evolve, adapt
getting chewed and mangled
and then I forget the point
and I sleep
or I dream
and the problem's solved til the night comes again.
It's quiet and im still
emptied but soft
I feel fleshy and light.
I can feel every ounce of me wiegh down as I float
and the memory of words
I can't move
and the past is immovable
but it's quiet
cotton soft quiet.
In the dark when I close my eyes
in floods light.
of my eyelids
im holding no pictures
no more now than i knew
can't solve and can't prove
but the light
and the quiet
the soft and the new
the good and the hope
these might carry me through.
PulseIt's bright and it's broken
it's flickering, rusted
the heart of a creature I couldn't have trusted
for fear or for hunger of minor disaster
a flesh that's quite warm yet it's lacking in lustre
a blister of truth
or a wrinkle of trust.
It's dark and it's dusty
quite damp, and encrusted
with scars and a venom that's destined to break it
and fuelled with a stream of casual acquaintances
mind that knows need but not how to relate
and i'm broken
I must hope
for a reason
a sign that it's right
lest we fall with the seasons,
and falling is reason enough.
pleased to meet you
shes a dancer
give a chance of
she'll destroy you
she'll destory you
catch an eye and
trace a line and
catch it wandering on
out and to the side
i don't know you
hasn't told you
she's a weapon
she's a snake and
she's a soldier
she'll unfold you and
she'll be cold and
feign a smoothness
all a tactical maneuver
hasn't told you all the moves and
old directory of truths and
turns it back and it's on you
it's paranoia paranoia
at a glance inside of who
not the one you thought you knew
maybe it was never you
things were different you'd lose
find a catalogue of proof
or a dialogue of use
the admission of
LanguishSick of my sickness with the language barrier
find a new character and my thoughts might carry her
stuck on the crest of my friccative wave
I need a new brain hole, and a new wave to save me/
sick of my sickness and I can't get rid
burn a hole in my head when I'm flicking eyelids
clicking my fingers and I'm blaming the timezones
ticking the clock off ignore the power that the hands hold/
sick of my apathy and of being on a downturn
pissing them off with the message that my frown earns
forgetting that faces have a language of their own
well versed and rehearsed there, I'm holding on, though/
Sick of my sickness with the braindead bitch
with the realisation I'm the one true hitch
remembering now that it's all down to tone
get the fuck off the keys and back into the zone.
It's sad but it's true that that's what I do.
You'd think that it's useful, clairvoyance
a truthful reminder of all that's to come,
I'll write in my diary so I can remind me of everything that could be done.
But therein's the problem you see:
the future, quite naturally,
is a definite thing, a condition of truth
and the only thing I've got is absolute proof
that the things that'll pass are just destined to happen,
to build and to ruin,
to break and to rescue,
so all I can do is to politely ask you to please, if you please-
should I take you to task- let me lead with a question and hear what i ask
that you might answer in full understanding of what we all know, and here all I'm demanding
is truth to placate me so I can let go
of a foreshadowing that'd passed long ago.
Why I Always take a JacketWhen I was younger my mom always said to me:
"Take a jacket when you leave the house.
You never know when it's going to be cold."
I listened to her request and took a jacket
Because I wanted to be warm at nighttime.
When a few years passed I realized something;
Sometimes a couple would walk past me
But it was obvious that one person wore a jacket
That belonged to the other person.
I thought it was weird but shrugged it off moments later.
During my adolescent years I got a little jealous.
I found out that giving a person a jacket meant something.
It meant that you cared for said person
And you wanted them to be warm.
This got me wondering: Did other people care for me?
Questions like that made me evaluate myself.
My mom bought me the jackets I wear so that I stay warm,
So that meant she loves me.
After calming myself with this fact,
I snuggle into my own jacket and carry on with my life.
It's cold. Shivers run through me repeatedly.
I forgot my jacket.
Everyone else is laughing and havi
I hear it all
What you screech
Every line repeats
Until I fall in my defeat
Can I ever stop
The barrage of words
That crumples me down
Onto the floor?
What gives you the right
To drag my face through dirt?
Why, oh why do I listen to you,
Who brings so much hurt?
Your words bring tears,
Heat rising to my face.
I run out in humiliation,
Sobs coming as I race.
My heart is bleeding
My ears are ringing
My chest is pounding
My sorrow astounding
I can't take it
Enough is enough
The smile is cracked
The mask now gone
I'm finally beaten
Is that what you want?
I'm just a human
I'll never live up
Never reach what yo
Are running out
Like the future
That my heart
My black eyes
Her gorgeous march.
Breaking my hopes
Was our last
She ran away
My life turned grey
Living a plastic life
It’s easy to watch
An entire society
Like bricks in a wall.
Let me stay
Here with you.
I don’t belong
There to them
It was a mistake
Believe that I
My tears spillMy missing you,
my wanting you,
my needing you still,
my tears spill.
it´s all been said before,
you´d just walk in the door.
My love for you,
my dreams of you
oh if it could only be,
then I´d turn back the hands of time
and you´d still be here with me.
By Suzanne Karbach 19th July 2014
Wedding VowToday, my love, I lay my hand in thine
And vow to spend forever at thy side
The path that lies ahead of thee now mine
My strength to bear thy cares and match thy stride
Today, my love, I wear thy wedding ring
I pledge devotion, heart and soul, to thee
I share what joys and sorrows time will bring
And cherish thee for all eternity
Today, my love, I pledge myself thy wife
And take thee as the husband of my heart
I gift thee all the moments of my life
That nothing in this world tear us apart
Secrets and PromisesI am here because of the past,
Because of a promise that is endeavored to be kept.
I can only hope that this dread won't last.
Since the past is also what's killing me the most.
But no one knows,
What goes on in my head.
The painful woes,
That have not yet gone away.
Secrets that can not be shared,
Buried deep, and very far.
Only if anyone cared,
But God knows no one ever will.
Hiding the truth may never feel right,
But I am only doing it for the best.
I am not going to win this fight,
For what is left of me, I'm broken.
Widows FearsIn a graveyard a widow stands
Remembering her lover who lays below
Under the stars
Weeping like a willow
The sky starts crying
In sync with her tears
This is why she had quit trying
Why she’d fallen into her fears
Keep your head up.The weight of the world is sitting on your shoulders,
crushing you down,
and making you smaller.
The more you struggle,
the heavier it gets.
My advice is:
Keep your head up.
When it pushes,
And when the world gets the message,
you will fly.
And when you fly,
you will finally understand what it means to be alive.
And that is,
to keep your head up,
and look at the challenge without flinching,
and once you rein dominance,
you hand it over to another that is giving up.
No one deserves what you previously felt.
A Song for the StarsUnder the night sky, here I stand
To seek for beauty, peace and love
I once have known in human's land
But I now see in stars above.
Beneath the heavens, I look up
To see the wonder of the stars,
Wishing the night would never stop,
That I could always gaze at Mars.
After midnight, I'm still awake,
Thinking of stars and something else -
You whom I love, for goodness' sake,
And my love - none but stars can tell.
The constellations - they remind
Me of your eyes that I hold dear
In my memories, in my mind
(All while I look at stars so clear).
In the midst of dawn, I still stand
To feel your presence once again,
Like when you roamed the human's land
When life was great and free of pain.
Early morning, I now look down
To think of you and other stars;
Although I may not see them now,
They're still there, like you always are.
heartsim crouched in my own little world
filled with fear
until your bright light shines and i can see clear
im here in my own little world
filled with hope
as you pull away and i struggle to cope
i sit in my own little world
that you arent who i first had known you to be
whilst i sit in my own little world
that the world has just left me far behind.
This is my own little world,
Torn apart - but the truth is - it only exists in my Heart...
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